Welcome to the wonderfully screwed up online comic, Blue Neon.
That's not Glade Plug-Ins you're smelling, it's the surrealistic freshness of the latest comic.
|VXO - October 19, 2002, 11:47 PM|
Yet again, something goes terribly wrong, and the laws of physics fail to prevent a comic from being produced. Hah!
|VXO - October 2, 2002, 2:04 AM|
One of these days I'll have to get around to changing this page to the new layout I'm working on, which is actual valid HTML and stuff. But for now, a comic.
|VXO - September 12, 2002, 8:02 PM|
I had hoped to get this up last night, but didn't. So... this thing still exists, and the latest comic is here.
|VXO - September 9, 2002, 3:43 AM|
No, I'm not dead. Undead, perhaps. Here's a comic for your delicious braaaaaaaaaaains to feast upon.
|VXO - September 1, 2002, 2:01 AM|
It was a cold, dark, windy, loud, wet, foggy, starless, and generally creepy night in the suburbs. I tossed and turned in bed what seemed like hundreds of times, trying to force myself to sleep. Every now and then there would be an indeterminate sound, a click, a rattle, a scrape, which would cause me to grip my pillow in fear that someone, or something, was trying to get in...
A noise began to catch my attention... it started out as a slow, regular tapping, like that of feet on the floor... very hard, heavy feet. I tried to convince myself that it was just the sound of tree branches hitting the roof, but no... there came a crash as the laundry hamper in the hall was overturned! I wanted to get up and lock the door, but found myself mysteriously paralyzed by fear. Hiding under the blankets, I heard a loud noise. It was a '[moo]'.
I tried to convince myself that there was no way that I had just heard a 'moo', but I found it somehow strangely comforting. "A [cow]", I thought to myself, "is, after all, a [nonviolent] [vegetarian] creature." Yet I could not bring myself to get out of bed. That's when I heard it again... another 'moo', quite clearly. "I guess the wind blew a door open and a cow got in", I thought. I climbed out of bed, but then a little voice inside my head reminded me...
"That door was locked."
Just as I was about to reach for the door of my room, it burst open, and there I saw it... a horrible creature, half cow, half man... with razor-sharp horns, fangs hanging from a horrible foaming mouth, and jagged hooves on the feet of its half-ton body!I tried to run, but there was nowhere to go, and I was cornered... I picked up a lamp and swung it at the beast, but it was to no avail... It raised one of its hooves high above my head, smashing its head right through the ceiling as it did, and then ...
... there was nothing but silence and a blinding light.
"Dammit," a great booming voice said from the skies...
|VXO - August 23, 2002, 5:27 PM, 76.6|
... and, it's done. Behold!
|VXO - August 23, 2002, 12:03 PM, 84.5 degrees F|
Still working on the comic, but I'll have to wait until tonight to finish it... it's too hot in my room to keep working back here. Eww.
Mac Hall has an amusing take on CD copy protection. Nyuuuuuuuuuuuuuucleeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....
|VXO - August 18, 2002, 7:37 PM|
Yes, it should terrify you that I'm putting up comics as regularly as I am ... and here's the latest.
|VXO - August 15, 2002, 6:06 AM|
Florida Power & Light, for letting the power go out while I was drawing a comic, YOU GET ... EVIL CHEESE!
And here it is. No, not the evil cheese, the comic. Errr, quick, someone get this evil cheese off me before it eats my brain.
|VXO - August 12, 2002, wait, 2:03 PM? Okay, the official time
is: time to replace
the RTC battery...|
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a dead squirrel! No! It's... a comic!
Sorry if I alarmed you there. Oh well, off to Radio Shack. CR2025 button cell, you're MINE! MWAHAHAHAHA!
|VXO - August 11, 2002, 2:51 AM|
I really should have linked to this stuff before. whee.
Blue Neon Poster Thingie #1
Blue Neon Poster Thingie #2
And, in terrifying color!
|VXO - August 10, 2002, 4:37 AM|
Okay, since my parents tried today to kill us all twice in traffic, I decided to try to blow up the entire kitchen. Well, that wasn't my original intention, but... fnord. Ok, here's the procedure:
1. Acquire CHEAP microwave oven at garage sale/flea market/thrift store. DO
NOT DO THIS IN YOUR OWN OVEN! (I made this mistake and am just hoping my
parents don't find the char marks!)
As soon as I can obtain a cheap microwave oven with a transparent door, I'm going to try to duplicate this experiment and get video... if anyone else out here does this (DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! Do it OUTDOORS!) and gets video or photos of it, you get extra coolness points.
|VXO - August 7, 2002, 1:40 AM|
Chris says "You're going to make me get the Mysterious Chicken out again, aren't you."
|VXO - August 6, 2002, 4:43 AM|
It's... a comic! z00m!
|VXO - August 5, 2002, 10:50 AM|
All right, it's official, you people out there are searching for some wierd stuff.
blue bird porn page What, you're expecting naked birdies? Or, worse yet, naked buses?
dadelandmall.jpg What exactly is the world's fascination with this?
haggis clipart Ewww, no thanks, I won't elaborate; I don't wanna get sheep guts all over my xjed session.
3 dimensional porn No. Just... no. The 2-dimensional kind is evil enough.
neon scanner This gives me the mental picture of a riced-out HP flatbed.
This isn't really a freakishly strange one, but I'll add it to be helpful and stuff...
I'm alone sitting with my broken glass... etc For those of you who do what I often do, and poke lyrics for an unknown song into Google... the song's called The Metro. I'm not sure who originally did it, but I have heard versions by Alkaline Trio, Berlin, and *shudder* System Of A Down (this one was on the Dracula 2000 soundtrack, and the band somehow managed to shamelessly insert the F word in the end. Go figure, it's SOAD.)
Hmm, whenever I hear 'Make Yourself' now, I think of gnu make...
|VXO - August 5, 2002, 3:09 AM|
Step 1: Note the existence and location of this incredibly useful bus route.
Step 2: Read the schedule.
Still with me? Good.
Step 3: Sit back for a moment and utter a truly heartfelt "What the SMEG?!" under your breath, then come share your thoughts on this over in the forum.
|VXO - August 3, 2002, 6:08 AM|
Being awake at this hour on a weekend ought to be illegal somehow.
But, it's for good reasons...
|VXO - July 29, 2002, 2:22 AM|
I got 0wn3d!!
(excuse me while I try to stop laughing)
|YATTA! - Yatta yatta yatta yatta yatta|
Edit: Yes, this does imply that I'm insane.
|KvackBot - July 15, 2002, 2:10 PM|
Yet another comic.
Drive-By Kvacking Number 314
|A Random Zombie - July 13, 2002, 1:00 AM|
it's undead art day arghargharghghargh braaaaaains
|The Sacred Chao - July 8, 2002, 2:12 PM|
The cartoonist apologizes for being so ridiculously sneaky. He updated the comic without telling any of you about it. Moooo.
|VXO - July 5, 2002, 2:01 PM|
Okay, I'm back... didn't have time to do another comic because I had to rewire most of the radio station and my parents are complete and total smegheads.
|VXO - July 1, 2002, 7:05 AM|
Despite my best efforts, my e-mail account here has just recieved its first EVER piece of spam.
Suddenly it feels just so... deflowered. Isn't this sad?
|VXO - July 1, 2002, 6:57 AM|
And thus has begun Hell Week 2002.
7 people, one house, one phone line that can't properly handle voice (let alone data), and the VINDICATION of termites.
Let the carnage begin.
I may be updating the comic during this time without changing this index page --- use the handy-dandy latest comic link to see if this is the case.
I'm alone, sitting with my broken glass
My four walls follow me through my past
I was on a Paris train
I emerged in London rain and
You were waiting there, swimming through apologies
I remember searching for the perfect words
I was hoping you might change your mind
I remember a soldier sleeping next to me
Riding on the Metro...
- Alkaline Trio
Links Of The Moment!|
Digital Data Porn - For those of us who get turned on by photos of vintage technology. Holy spork, there's a Babbage engine in there... Note: This site is not to be viewed by non-nerds. I doubt that precludes anyone who's gotten as far as reading this comic. Poit.
PawSense - Here is a product that every PC owner with a cat or other animal who likes playing with the shiny box should have. PawSense detects catlike typing activity and blocks it out safely until a human wants to use the computer. (Well, this should be effective until cats learn how to use mice, trackballs, touchpads, touchscreens, etc., at which point all bets are off.) For a low price of $20 you can protect your computer from accidental commands entered by furry paws.
OpenOffice - An awesome free, open source office suite, for Windows, Linux, and Mac OS X. OpenOffice supports almost every common file format under the sun (uhh, that's sun, not Sun), and is amazingly compact, efficient, and flexible. *sound of MS Office being cheerfully uninstalled*
Got Scumware? Run this quick test to find out!
Mammals may be cute and
fuzzy, but snails need love too.
Questions? Comments? Comically oversized sporks? E-mail thechickencow at linuxfreemail dot com. Spammers will learn the true meaning of pain!!!
This page best viewed at 800x600 with a glass of root beer and a purple glass insulator. (Can I just make up my mind already?)
Indoor Weather Forecast - Artist's room, Olympia Heights, FL