(or, yet another thing for me to forget to update)
It was a day like any other, in a place like any other. A place like any
other, if any other places were Miami, which, thank Eris they are not.
And on this day, a god on the other side of some odd heavenly barrier that we commonly call the fourth wall fell ill with some odd affliction previously known to only affect mortals, some that they referred to as 'chicken pox', which, despite having an amusing name, was horribly annoying. In this god's somewhat depleted physical, and, more importantly, mental state, he decided to create a universe. Only problem is, some other absent-minded god forgot to buy the ingredients for a universe at the supermarket, so he had to just make do with what he had. Thus, with a set of Prismacolor pencils that had been acquired for a biology class in an earlier phase of the god's universe-state-required education, he created a universe upon a sheet of paper, swiped out of the OfficeJet 350 Of Creation's paper tray.
And lo, there was a universe. And it sucked.
So the god tried again, and succeeded. For some twisted reason known only to himself, which he is not telling, nyah nyah nyah nyaaaaah nyah nyah, he decided to share this universe with fellow members of his domain via a mystical ether known as the Internet. Others were now able to admire what was visible of this universe, which was, for reasons of his laziness, quite limited, however, his fellow gods were quick to inform him that his free universe hosting service (rot in pieces, xoom.com/nbci.com) sucked. So, it was moved another place, then to the great Keenspace conglomerate, and finally wound up being hosted by the master god Xidus and his server of pure magical bliss.
At some point, the god discovered the true powers of the computer he had been using to publish the chronicles of this universe, and began doing some stuff in a slightly less sucky manner. Then, he was gifted by mysterious forces with a far better computer, one which actually allowed him to handle coloring on it without having to wait two minutes for the effects of each click of the mouse to be realized. At yet another point, the god realized he could also write his strangest inner thoughts to the page along with the little window on his universe, something which he stopped when he realized it was not only likely to scare everyone [normal] away, but that it was getting his universe some very strange search hits. Yes, I'm a GOD, dammit, of COURSE I know how you got here!
And it was of course to be known that the god was insane.
Part One: And thus, there was spackle...
It was never said how Storm Phillips entered this universe. Presumably, when
# make universe
... the Makefile automatically creates all life within. Sure, scientists will try to convince you that spontaneous generation is impossible, but that's just because I played with their heads a bit. Why the hell would they otherwise come up with the Kelvin scale of temperature measurement? ... Anyway...
There was to be a main character, a Storm Phillips, reporter and general maniac. However, for some really odd reason, he was also to have two younger siblings, who promptly disappeared. See what you get for leaving toothpaste in a god's sink, huh?
Storm's parents had just discovered the ability to gain wealth and lose any exposure to the outside world, with only a minimal start-up investment, in the world of stock day-trading. I then realized it was a mistake to not drop a meteor on this universe's stock market... after all, that other one I used did WONDERS on those nasty, smelly old dinosaurs... but I digress. Besides, I used up all my +5 Objects Of Throwing on some stupid mortals over here for a really awful television series. Around then, it was revealed that, in any form, caffiene is a good thing. Eventually, from somewhere in this universe, surfaced the existence of Chloe, Storm's girlfriend. She's insane, creative, and slightly evil, and thus, perfect. In some experimentation to find a way to block 100% of x10.com popup ads, she created some self-adapting artificial intelligence software, which turned out to be useful for far more things than mere removal of evil XCam advertisements. She installed this on a mobile robotic platform, and thus, we have Pete. Afterwards, there was randomness.
Julie reappeared from a previous comic of mine, and all the human characters in known existence promptly left on vacation.
After some rather annoying incidents with my universe-state-sponsored education, I even drew myself in comic form a couple times, and realized there are few things more terrifying than trying to draw yourself in comic form, especially when you're a bizarre god.
There was, at some point, a comic about bad power over in this universe. It was also the first known appearance of... well, at least part of a toilet.
In the process of messing around with a anime-like style, I managed to break my brain. That is my only possible explanation for this. Sometime later on, I was assigned to perform a project of supposed community service to my fellow gods, and wound up being subjected to many early mornings, long commutes through the heavens, late nights, and more long commutes through the heavens, and did I mention long commutes?... anyway, I somehow came to be subjected to nonsense like this. It all goes downhill from here --- if you're still reading, prepare to be amused severely yet terrified.
At this point, I decided to go to bed for a while and let the pixies in my brain take over for a while. See what they did...?
A lightning strike on the detergent aisle of the supermarket somehow fuses
certain nifty organic compounds within Storm's body with certain other ones
contained within common household cleaners, and bestow him with
grease-releasing powers! No, I'm sorry, he just got the ability to throw
powerful electric discharges of a few * 10^6 volts as needed. He doesn't
realize this, though, until the appearance of the first purple toilet. Briefly
afterwards, there was an epic battle between human and robot, an epic battle
between human and
Chrysler product, and an epic battle between human and evil presidential candidate. SpLuD!
Julie falls in love with Brandon, and, unlike the persons she's fallen in love with in the past, somehow manages to avoid accidentally vaporizing him.
Chloe's toilet became posessed by a cute little demon, which Storm removed and placed in a mayo jar. Meanwhile, Julie begins to persue interests of mad science, out of pure boredom and incredible coolness.. and some catpeople land from an alternate dimension in an aircraft made of graham cracker dough, along with a surrealist hovering betta, Jeremiah, who soon becomes the drummer for the Sawgrass Six, a band of great oddness. Chloe copies an old A.I. system off a Sinclair 1000 computer in her room and installs it on a bus equipped with a nifty computer running Linux, and it becomes James.
Storm's siblings, Sandra, Bradley and Steve, reappear after he is asked to bring them home from a rather extended visit at their aunt's house. Storm and Chloe drive off in James. On the trip to his aunt's house, Storm manages to cheerfully ridicule a pair of evil SUV drivers. Willow defeats some bizarre person of calculus in battle elsewhere. Storm gets home with his siblings, after being asked to remove a pinball machine from his aunt's house, Chloe escapes, pudding ensues, and it is revealed that his parents got him a bus instead of a new car, due to a static-induced misunderstand. Storm lets Julie play around with his bus for a little while, and it becomes Amber, a shiny black vehicle of dooooom powered by an old military cargo helicopter engine. Bradley and Steve become terrified of Amber. Sandra finds her incredibly cool.
Storm and Brandon somehow manage to drop a bottle of some high explosive, and I have to recreate them, and wash their sooty remains off of Amber. Ewww. You have no idea how disgusting a bus's wheel wells can get. Sometimes I hate being a god.
Recreated from his inner subatomic comic particles (or...something), Storm and Sandra took off on a late evening mission to find supplies for her school science fair project, which involved reckless yet entertaining driving, and defiance of several laws of physics.
Sandra and her friend J.T. are sent off on a bizarre quest in an abandoned system of underground tunnels by their gym teacher because he was too lazy to come up with a real final exam. They come upon a sentient hedgehog in the tunnel, who joins them on their quests, not really because he wants to, but because Sandra thought he was really cute and wouldn't put him down.
Eventually, they fell into Julie's underground lab through a bad section of tunnel. They got their gym teacher to give them an A for the class, and, with school out for the summer, went on various searches for aincient treasures, mainly due to boredom.