Artist's Statement

Recently, I went to one of those *yawn* art festivals. Not the Coconut Grove one, which is actually interesting, but the South Miami one, which seems to be more of a excuse to close off a street and let yuppies waddle around on it smoking cigars.

While dodging the bored families with screaming children (all wearing purple wristbands for some reason I could not figure out?) and people walking their dogs, I noticed that most of the artists who were displaying their wares at this show had a little elegantly framed thing hanging up with their 'Artist's Statement'. I decided to write my own, although it didn't come to me until a few minutes ago just how to put it to words. A bit of caffiene was also required.

My artwork was originally a means of expression for use in a world where rational expression is too easily misunderstood, but pure insanity speaks straight to the heart, liver, and pancreas. Through the beauty of confusion and hilarious destruction, I found that an ideal world could be created in the mind of the observer, and then cheerfully transformed to a substance not unlike cheese.

Grotesquely modified occurences in the plane of reality and explosions of plumbing are highly influential in my style. The impossible is made possible, through flagrant violations of the laws of physics and possibly even the ordinances of the city of Coral Gables.

Most of my scribblings are done on a computer. In the digital world, I exclusively use open-source software, as most commercial products are not licensed for use in modifying the fabric of space-time. I've abandoned the use of the Windows operating system, as it could not survive the repeated transition from matter to pudding. Any limitations in my techniques, software, or shiny toys have been compensated for through the liberal use of nonsense.

Although I would like to incorporate them into my work, I feel that I cannot accurately portray the inner wombatitude of the fiddler crab, so that's right out.


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