I've noticed something a lot lately. You've probably noticed it too. In fact, if you haven't, you probably don't live in Miami.

This phenomenon I've discovered is that people are quite willing, for reasons unknown, to have various piercings done that look incredibly stupid.

I'm not going to try to say anything truly intelligent here at all. I'm going to instead rattle off a list of the great sins of stupidity I've observed.

• Giant fake stones of pure bling-bling-idocity: This one needs to die now, kthx. First of all, if you've got a stud jammed through your earlobe that's got an ultra-cheezy cubic zirconia 'stone' mounted in a gold-plated steel setting that gives the overall impression that you should not have paid more than $5 for it, I am going to have a hard time not declaring that it's ugly as hell.
• Improper placement of earlobe piercings: I see this a LOT in conjunction with the horrid objects mentioned above. An earlobe piercing is NOT supposed to be located in the last 2 millimeters of flesh at the very bottom of your earlobe. That just looks as stupid as, well... I think I've already ranted about it, haven't I? I guess it varies with just how any particular person's ear is shaped, but I think it should be at least about 5 millimeters up at the very least.
• Too Much Information: If it's not visible when you're clothed, I probably don't want to hear about it at random. That crap freaks me out, thank you very much.
• Safety pins: Just... do me a favor and stop even thinking about them, okay? THEY DO NOT EXIST, dammit... and they sure as hell are not a substitute for proper jewelry. I do not want to sit there being grossed out by looking at some part of your cranial anatomy which is having an allergic reaction to the cheap nickel plating.
• On that same note, please don't wear those ass-tastic little studs with the godawful looking steel 'butterfly' retaining thing such that it sticks up from the top of your ear or something. I start to think some ugly metal insect landed there or something.
• If your gold hoop earrings are larger than 1/4 the diameter of your head, please correct that situation immediately.

In short, everyone, please use some discretion, especially when it comes to sharp and possibly unflattering objects.

for the love of eris, discard that cubic zirconia.